Free Download Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

Free Download Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

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Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

Free Download Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships

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Listening Length: 12 hours and 22 minutes

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Audible.com Release Date: December 31, 2013

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I started with reading her first book "Hold Me Tight." Absolutely loved it! Then I went on to this book, loved it again. The way she frames couple interactions as attachment bonds completely opened up my mind and heart to understand love and how we get stuck in patterns that veil and close the door or love. Reading through the various examples of couple breakthroughs using EFT helped me realize that we have alternate choices in communication besides the usual criticize-attack mode or the withdraw go-cold mode that we all too often get caught up in when relationships get stressed. This cuts down to the core of relationships issues and distress, and gives awesome tools for "changing the dance" as she likes to say. I'm reading her book for therapists now, "The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy," because I find this information so valuable and transformative. I also highly recommend it to my colleagues, patients, and anyone suffering from relationship distress, or just wants to better understand this unique and special human bond at a deeper level.

Sue Johnson has a gift for presenting science with such delight and joy that it's like opening an extra special birthday present that the giver is as excited about as the receiver. In Love Sense, Sue opens up the science of love for all of us. She begins by pointing out that our first instinct is to seek contact and comforting connection rather than sex or aggression. This idea opens up a whole new arena for understanding behavior and interactions. The idea that we must stand alone and strive for independence falls away for the idea that what we all really need is closeness and comfort. We worry that if we are "too soft" that we will raise self centered people but, in fact, we are mostly driven to be empathic rather than competitive. Sue reveals the science of her ideas in much the same way that Richard Feynman reveals physics - with joy and engagement. Sue discusses emotion, the brain, sex, monogamy. She addresses many issues couples struggle with over a lifetime of partnership such as making a commitment, parenthood, coping with the empty nest, retirement. Along this journey, Sue explains the common cycles couples get into and the emotion that is underneath those cycles that drives them. She uses examples from her work with couples to demonstrate what happens in these dynamics and how attachment styles and needs affect each person. She slows down the dynamics and digs deep into the emotion and attachment needs to expose what reassurance or support is needed to circumvent the cycle. In chapter nine Sue tells a love story and describes a betrayal between a couple, the opening up, understanding what was happening between them that created the environment for this fracture to happen and then the repair. This will be a wonderful piece for our clients to read to begin to understand the opening that needs to happen when people have hurt each other. Sue moves on to expose many of the challenges we have in our ability to be present with those we love. Throughout this book, the conversational style Sue has, her deep understanding of her subject and her passion for this topic are palpable. This book will be a best seller and I believe that it will create the revolution Sue talks about. We will begin to find each other, open up to each other, expose our vulnerability, understand our emotions and heal our interpersonal fractures. Thank you Sue for caring enough to bring forward these important messages. This is a lovely, mesmerizing book.

Sue Johnson's perspective on relationship dynamics is core to our current scientific understanding of love. She writes well and persuasively makes her point that the need for bonding comes from deep instinctual roots, and when our bond with our beloved is threatened we respond typically with either a fight or flight response.This is probably the most useful book I can recommend to my clients to help them understand the basic dynamics of loving relationships. This, and Dr. Johnson's previous book, - Seven Conversations - which is extremely helpful for couples who are working through distress. These two books are essential reading to anyone who wants to understand how love works and what often makes it go sour. Still, both these books can be difficult for the layperson to follow in places; and somewhat frustrating for the practitioner/scientist who wants really clear links to the research base she claims to depend on for her many assertions.The book has a set of references for each chapter, but these are unfortunately for the entire chapter and are difficult to link with the many individual assertions she makes in each chapter. Thus it is unfortunately extremely difficult to follow how her "research-based" arguments and conclusions are really linked to research. This is particularly vexing in her chapter which asserts monogamy is essential to human bonding, which is a controversial issue.Attachment Theory does not, of course, explain the whole mystery of love - as if anything really can. Readers who are looking for the "single silver bullet" to understanding their relationships and resolving relationship differences will be disappointed, although Johnson's work goes a long way toward this understanding. A convergence of contemporary theories on relationship goes further to this end. For example Harville Hendrix's work on Imago theory (based on Jung's Imago theory) is still essential to understanding how opposites attract (but you have to sort of subtract some of the rigid psychosexual developmental theory of Freud that Hendrix's work also hinges upon). Also, the work by John and Julie Gottman on what is needed to "Build a relationship house" is extremely helpful for couples who often lack a sense of basic direction and basic relationship skills - but of course the Gottmans' work is really a collection of useful observations rather than a cohesive theory about relationship and bonding. Sue John's work, and John Bowlby's work before her, prove a clear theoretical foundation for understanding relationships. You might think Sue Johnson's writings on attachment theory as providing the FOUNDATION upon which the work of Hendricks and the Gottman's can stand. Without the foundational understanding of attachment theory provided by Johnson the edifices built by Hendrix and the Gottmans can not stand firm.

Quite the eye opening scientific study of why we are who we are and what we can do about it. I have already recommended the book to friends and family members in order for them to see themselves through this view of how the mind develops though the actions of those we care about the most. The creation on attachment styles through the actions of others is a phenomenon that awakes our realization of why we act the way we do under certain conditions.If this was required reading in every K-12 curriculum, it would do the world a huge favor.Read it and pass it along!

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Download PDF , by Dale Carnegie

Download PDF , by Dale Carnegie

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, by Dale Carnegie

Download PDF , by Dale Carnegie

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File Size: 2906 KB

Print Length: 274 pages

Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (October 4, 2011)

Publication Date: October 4, 2011

Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc

Language: English

ASIN: B004U7G81O

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IF you have read HTWFAIP in the past, this is not that clever of a re-imagining as to warrant a reprint. Perhaps a three page addendum?Regardless, it is a good read for the uninitiated and offers a bunch of lessons and habits to practice.

My Dad gave me a copy of this when I graduated highschool in the 90s but I wasn't "ready" for it yet, I don't even think I read it to be honest. Now I'm 37 and realizing that I've put my personal growth on the back burner for entirely too long. I had pretty much given up on making new adult friends. I had actually self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's because I was having such a difficult time trying to figure out why people (including myself) do the things that do. The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them. I couldn't find the copy that my dad gave me so I ordered a new one and chapter 1 alone is changing the way I look at EVERYTHING. I've been plagued with mild depression/anxiety for 20 years and I'm realizing that I've developed some unhealthy defense mechanisms to cope with these issues. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but the fortress-like walls I've constructed to deal with criticism (real or perceived) aren't much better for me. I've re-read and taken notes on the first section of the book several times now and my wife is noticing and she seems quite relieved, i had no idea I could impact another persons life so strongly. Like I said, I am only getting started with the book and it has already helped me enough to warrant a 5-star rating. This book has stood the test of time for a reason and I can see why now. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations. I've read numerous self help books in the past, seen a therapist for 3 years, been through the gauntlet of antidepressants, etc, and until now I thought I was wasting my time. I've been learning things all along, but I never learned how to actually apply the things I had learned until now. This book speaks my language and if your background sounds even remotely similar I have a feeling that you'll agree.

I wish I had purchased this book sooner.Dale Carnegie's advice has remained constant and applicable across the years for a reason. It's simple and his techniques make perfect sense. If you're anything like me, you'll be kicking yourself when you see how you could have handled situations differently. I'm being transformed from a socially awkward, timid and defensive person, to someone that seems collected and confident.If you're having troubles in life and simply can't figure out what you're doing wrong, this is a fantastic place to start. Good luck on your journey!

In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I don't see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person's good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people's opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you're wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person's viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person's attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.

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Free Ebook The Summer Shack Cookbook: The Complete Guide to Shore Food, by Jasper White

Free Ebook The Summer Shack Cookbook: The Complete Guide to Shore Food, by Jasper White

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The Summer Shack Cookbook: The Complete Guide to Shore Food, by Jasper White

Free Ebook The Summer Shack Cookbook: The Complete Guide to Shore Food, by Jasper White

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From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. White, a James Beard Award– winning Boston chef, went from owning a high-end restaurant to owning a casual seafood eatery (now there are three) called the Summer Shack. And in the vein of his homey cookbooks—One-Pot Meals; Lobster at Home—he presents this volume of summer recipes. The high quality of recipes and concern for ingredients are evident as ever, but it's the kind of food "you need to roll up your sleeves and get a little messy to truly appreciate and enjoy." White provides stellar versions of such seaside classics as Steamers Cooked in Beer, Creamy Cape Cod Clam Chowder, Fabulous Retro Shrimp Cocktail, and a Classic Maine Lobster Roll. There are also dishes with international accents—Steamed Black Sea Bass with Ginger and Scallions, Portuguese-Style Clam Stew—and old-school summer desserts like Strawberry Shortcake and Whoopie Pies, which White encourages readers to prepare in the morning "to take advantage of the clean work surfaces during the coolest part of the day." The book is filled with other helpful tips and insider chef tricks and techniques—so though it's simple and lighthearted, even hard-core cooks can learn something. (May) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Review

A cookbook that combines the joy of sleeves-up seafood with expert advice and a great chef's recipes. -- Jane and Michael Stern, authors of RoadfoodAn education as well as a collection of fantastic recipes to enjoy along the shore or anywhere -- Eric Ripert, chef/co-owner of Le BernardinJasper has the confidence to stand back and let seafood be the star. This book helps give others that same confidence. -- Ming Tsai, chef/owner of Blue Ginger and author Ming's Master Recipes

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Product details

Hardcover: 384 pages

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company; 1st edition (May 17, 2007)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 9780393052381

ISBN-13: 978-0393052381

ASIN: 0393052389

Product Dimensions:

8.4 x 1.3 x 9.4 inches

Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.4 out of 5 stars

26 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#276,298 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

This volume is chock full of recipes of 'shack' food I've become all tooooo (!) familiar with since moving north.There were some familiar dishes and more delectable recipes that WILL be finding their way to my outdoor parties!I ordered the hardback and expected a thin overview of shack food but was pleased by the abundance of ideas, sprinkled with a minimum of photos ( I don't need a picture book when cooking, just good input from chefs more knowledgeable ).Descriptions and menus are clear and concise with good reference to alternating pages to complete a meal.This is a volume well worth your money if you love or have an interest in the New England shore food experience.

I've been a fan of Jasper White's for many years, but I held off ordering this book because I was afraid it would be full of lobster recipes. I realized long ago that I was not going to pay the premimun lobster demands in the south, so why buy another book heavy on lobster. Well, I was wrong! This is a terrific book of seafood recipes and side dish ideas too. The thing I liked best is that all the food is very casual, not the fancy stuff that looks great on the cover but that you'll never cook. The fish recipes offer ideas for substitutions if the ideal fish isn't in season or region.

This is a great cook book. So glad I ordered it!

I just received this cookbook and am trying several recipes already! I love the dedication to the Love of Seafood! I really love the Rhode Island Calamari recipe too! Book is in great condition for a used item. Will buy again! Thanks!

After visitng Boston area we had the opportunity to eat at the Summer Shack. It was a 4 star experience. Living in Alaska we are not new to seafood, but the receipes in this book add a wonderful compliment to different styles of preparing seafood. The sauces are fantastic and the lobster, while not an Alaskan dish, was the best I had ever had! Alaskan Golden King Crab does work well in these receipes.Just a nice cook book that Jasper White shares some inside truths in preparing excellent seafood dishes.

Everything you ever wanted to know about seafood. Or at least a good portion of it.

best chowdAaaaa!!!

I have a wonderful cookbook collection and this book is a nice addition. In addition to good recipes, it is a great reference book for information on equipment, cooking techniques, background information on various shellfish, etc. The only thing that holds me back from giving it five stars is that I wish it had more color photographs. I know this probably adds to the cost of the book, but color photos really add to the appeal of a cookbook, and it's one of the things I look for when considering a purchase.

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